8th House Virgo Stellium, 12th House Survivors: Helping Those Who HIDE From Themselves

I have had a knack all my life for helping people who won’t, can’t, not-sure-how, or don’t help themselves.  They are the honey; I’m the bee.  I’m naturally attracted to 12th house characters who often have the greatest difficulty in resolving their issues.  Just as quickly as a problem or solution is identified, it can be forgotten. :/ And these personalities are exceptionally strong, mysterious, love holding on to the past (comfort zone), and are resistant to change.

When I was 12 I wished upon that birthday cake for a troubled future lover whom I could heal.  At 12!! I asked for that.  I’m a strange bird.  And wow, the universe does deliver so careful what you wish for.

Because I took in my fair share of injured animals, I was delayed in getting to the point where I could have a long term marriage with someone who could function in a partnership.  Someone who had enough health to stand on their own two-feet.

I want to help people release their demons (releasing the devil from within) and I even once witnessed a cry so loud and deep that it vibrated my insides, literally.  In fact, a lot of people shed “release tears” around me and I’m just the kind of person who can handle that and many times encourage it.  I’m an intense person and can handle intensity more than the average bear.  Unfortunately neither myself or the other person have had the professional training or tools to do anything with that so it’s often like poking around in the dark hoping you don’t bump into something and hurt yourself.  So while I’m a natural depth psychologist and a happy dappy 3 life path person, a demon is a demon!!

People often complain to me that they didn’t get this and that from family, ex-lover, friend.  For some strange reason I want to be that person who gives them what they always wanted — to release that old wound once and for all. Perhaps it’s that 8th house stellium in Virgo or my Cancer on the 7th house cusp because I certainly have the strength (ah, not so much anymore) and nurturing desire to handle 12th house issues.  Or maybe it’s some twisted way for them to get some relief by unleashing their demon on to me, tucking it back in, and then being off on their merry way again until they can’t take it anymore again.  Has anyone else had this happen to them?  However, helping people express their emotions when a) they didn’t ask for direct help (just complaining) or b) they have no constructive outlet for it (no matter what strategies I give) is unhealthy.

A wounded animal is often more dangerous.

I don’t believe in suppression, especially driven parentally; however, I’m starting to believe that (for some) suppression or 12th house behaviours are a necessary evil.  Some people do need to be locked up for their own good and for the good of others because I have often discovered VERY GOOD reasons for why there’s been a restriction that either was not explained well enough by those that restricted or where there’s an inability or refusal to accept the reason on the part of the restricted.

I grew up with a fair amount of freedom but when I reflect on where I was held back it was in communication (talking) and I believe there is a reason for that too.  Being authentic and just saying what’s on your mind can be very dangerous for yourself and others if not appropriately censored as necessary.  I didn’t always have the mindset to do this and it’s still a struggle today.

Sometimes it’s for the best that someone doesn’t get all their wants met unless they are of the type to accept the result of their actions.

I have had a bad habit of falling for stray cats, emotionally unavailable or immature people and I really want no more of that unless it’s in a paid situation where the other is invested in the process of healing just as much as I or they demonstrate (which also includes asking) that they want help and can do something with that help.

Often I think of becoming a psychologist because it’s naturally something I’m good at.  I also feel anyone who sees a psychologist or someone like me, invests their time, money, and energy to take in what I can do for them and to self-heal through that process.

Anyway, I do love a good mystery as long as it has a happy (solved) ending.


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More Abella "Jucy" Arthur

Abella "Jucy" Arthur has contributed 114 posts in this blog.

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    • http://www.randomrhymereason.blogspot.com/ Jara

      I’m kinda upset that I am just now finding your blog. So many goodies. This post speaks strongly to me.

      “Just as quickly as a problem or solution is identified, it can be forgotten. :/”

      *Yes! This is why I try to write my thoughts as soon as I have them, so that I won’t forget my epiphanies and have to re-learn them.

      “Because I took in my fair share of injured animals, I was delayed in getting to the point where I could have a long term marriage with someone who could function in a partnership. Someone who had enough health to stand on their own two-feet.”

      *Yes! I’ve “healed” all of my ex-lovers so that they are now in healthy (well, happy) relationships and I am now trying to heal myself – belatedly.

      “People often complain to me that they didn’t get this and that from family, ex-lover, friend.”

      *Yes again! Except I don’t want to be the person who gives them what they’re missing. I try but it’s like their need and expectation is too great for me to fulfill. Then their anger is directed at me for promising what I could not deliver – even if my promise was unspoken.

      “I have had a bad habit of falling for stray cats, emotionally unavailable or immature people and I really want no more of that unless it’s in a paid situation where the other is invested in the process of healing just as much as I or they demonstrate (which also includes asking) that they want help and can do something with that help.”

      *Again, same here. It’s good to come to the point where we realize that we must get something back in exchange for what we give…at the very least, the active participation from the other person in the healing process.

      Lately, I’ve been attracting people with planets in the 12th house who ask me to counsel them. But I’m wary of taking on that role because they deny their part in what’s wrong. I have two planets in the 12th house and 3 in the 8th. It’s taken me a long time to see that I am just like them.

      Good luck with your goal to be a psychiatrist. You do seem to have a natural desire to help and ability at understanding people’s motivations – including your own. Those are excellent skills to have in the counseling bag.

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        Awwww…. Music to my ears!! :)

        Jara, you and I have a lot in common. And I think our meeting was no coincidence. It’s also no wonder you have 12th house bits because since the moment I laid eyes on your words, I felt a connection! I added you on Twitter because as I scanned your tweets, I found them to be bold and authentic. I can’t even remember “where” I found you! How 12th H… lol And I had no idea you were into any of this. Then I read through parts of your website, listened to the music that describes you, etc. and I was like “check, check, check — me too!”… Very cool bio!! :) I even like “quoting” when replying to people… :)

        I have 4 planets and my SN in the 8th and all in Virgo!! zingggg… It’s really interesting that you have both 8th and 12th H planets because I think that gives you more insight into yourself and others than someone who just has 12th H planets.

        Good that you write out your thoughts Jara!! I find twitter really good for that… You? :)

        “they deny their part in what’s wrong”
        Yes! I find a lot of 12th H people denying their 12th H planetary concerns. It’s like they don’t want anyone to find out, including themselves. One thing I heard from a 12th H person was that they wanted people to like them and if anyone found out how they “really” were, they thought they wouldn’t be liked. As an 8th H stellium Virgo I’m actually very accepting of people as long as what they want to do future-wise is not unhealthy. However, if I think something is unhealthy (to them and/or others) that’s where I’m moved to do some “fixing”… hehe

        Yeah, I have found over the years that they really actually can’t handle getting what they were missing so it’s like they are a bottomless pit of testing. Yeah, no go there anymore. ;) Been there; done that, writing the book. lol

        So since I have a lot of planets in the 8th, there’s many opportunities for me to contact with a 12th H person so that I may attempt to bring the 12 H issue to light.

        Thank you for your comment, feedback, and such.
        GREATLY appreciated.
        Lets keep in touch!! :)

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        btw, hubby of 8 years has a planet in the 12th. 12th H people are NOT lost causes. It’s just that it takes a lot of work, interest to heal, and constant reminders me thinks! I love hubby dearly; he’s a beautiful soul. In fact, 12th H people are really beautiful people (which is one of the reasons I’m attracted to them — purity!) but they are born with planets that will, at some point, lock up and many can not release it for various reasons. But.. I’m sure there’s a way for the wounded butterfly to free themselves where they don’t cause further hurt to themselves or burden anyone else.

        • http://www.randomrhymereason.blogspot.com/ Jara

          What a nice description of your hubby! I wish more people were like you and could see what’s “hidden” away. I’m finding that I’m tired of being around people who can only see what is presented on the surface. Hence, my tweets that seem to be stripping away layers from others and myself (at least, that’s my intention with them).

          “Locked up” (as in imprisoned?) is an interesting way to describe the 12th house planets. What do you suggest 12th housers do to unlock those planets and energies?

          Re: your other comment below…

          I agree that there are no coincidences, including our meeting. I saw that you listed me as Venus-Neptune and Mars-Pluto and wondered if you did so as a feeling…? I have a natal Mars-Pluto and a Venus-Neptune aspect by transit. Spooky. :)

          4 planets plus SN in the 8th house?! You must walk around the house naked at all times. :D Why do you say 8th + 12th house have more insight into self than just 12th housers? I’ve been reading up on the 8th house and some astrologers believe the 8th house is just as “locked up” (as you write) as the 12th house. I tend to go with the 12th house as parts of ourselves that are private/repressed while planets in the 8th house travel from house to house unlocking doors with whatever “keys” are located there.

          Before Twitter, I could never imagine sharing my private thoughts with anyone but my journal and a few close friends and relatives. The downside of Twitter is that it’s not exactly the most emotionally supportive spot, but I can’t think of anywhere else online where I can log my thoughts in forced abbreviated style…How did you discover Twitter? Why does it attract you? I found your question to me that day “am I not important enough to get a reply?” interesting because that was the last reason why I would not reply to someone. In your case, that was a day in which I was focused on exorcising my thoughts and getting lost in replies. But in your question, I heard something else that resonated with me…

          Ah, yes. The “likability” factor of the 12th house…Like Pisceans, 12th housers are sensitive to being liked – even if it means hiding their (our) true selves. The saying: “I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not” is one that we should remind ourselves of with almost every interaction…

          How do you know if something is unhealthy to someone (or yourself)? What’s the warning bell? I just wrote a short while ago that I think my soul has been searching for a healthy expression of Virgo energy…but I have been attracting it in the form of constant critics. I have quite a bit of Virgo energy, so your way of “fixing” what’s broken around you sounds like music to *my* ears! :)

          I’m pleased that we’ve “met”, however “weirdly”.

    • http://twitoaster.com/country-ca/jucythought/ JucyThought

      8th House Virgo Stellium, 12th House Survivors: Helping Those Who HIDE From Themselves – I have had a… http://blog.virgovault.com/?p=151 #archive

      • jdem759

        RT @JucyThought: 8th House Virgo Stellium, 12th House Survivors: Helping Those Who HIDE From Themselves – I have had a… http://bit.l

        • http://twitoaster.com/country-ca/jucythought/ JucyThought

          @jdem759 Thanks for the RT :-) Good or bad? Believe or not? Any thoughts on the article?

    • maria mandani

      jara check if you are a Projector at http://www.jovianarchive.com
      hihi i have a 4th house scorpio moon conj.ne,sextile uranus-pluto conjuction in virgo
      trine chiron in pisces ,sextile mercury in capricorn.today mercury is on my moon!!
      Maria