Natal Astrology: Mars Square Saturn – The Phoenix Rises Aspect

I tweeted today:

Mars SQ. Saturn has a way of finding the positive in the negative. After the temper tantrums, gr8 things begin. Phoenix Rising. #astrology

Note: Update:– Just discovered Mars is in Capricorn 16 degrees squaring Saturn Libra 16 Exact on December 29th (today); however, on the day I wrote this, Mars was 12 degrees (4 degree diff from Saturn) and I was feeling the heat from about the 20th (9 degrees) on the day Saturn moved to 16 degrees and especially on the 22nd (10 degrees). My Mars is Leo 11 degrees Square Saturn Taurus 21 degrees.

Natal Mars Square Saturn

1. Not feeling that anyone cares, recognizes, or pays attention to you.
2. Feeling like your work gets ripped off and you are the only one who can or will promote yourself.
3. Because people think you are arrogant or bragging they don’t want to help you.
4. Getting upset, hurt, stamping your feet because you think nobody loves or supports you.
5. Feeling as if others are taking credit for what you do and being inspired by your work without giving credit.
6. Feeling unimportant, as if you are looked down upon or held back because you are not somebody and that they don’t want you to be somebody because they are afraid of your power and energy.
7. Wondering why it takes so long to get anything done or get anywhere.
8. Feeling like you miss opportunities because you take so long to get anywhere.
9. Getting down on yourself for not doing enough.
10. Experiencing people who don’t want you to succeed because they think you have enough success given you have a habit of promoting the good times, your achievements, etc.
11. Just when things are getting better, your bubble gets burst!
12. Loving a challenge and in fact you are not likely to back away from a challenge.  Actually you might even inspire challenge.
13. Erecting obstacles that misdirect your focus and take your eye off the prize.
14. Feeling depressed, getting over your depression and then feeling oddly re-energized and passionate about your next moves.
15. Finally throwing out what doesn’t work.  Finding solutions to reach goals after much time of not wanting to give up on what doesn’t work.
16. Having your passion re-ignited and full steam ahead!

Mini Brainstorm

I have long since used brainstorming techniques in Tarot and for other things; however, the first time I saw anyone do it was astrofix in astrology and she inspired me to do it for astrology as I was having a hard time getting a handle on delineating aspects.  I would NOT have put the two together and I thank her!

Fear of moving quickly causes tension. Aggression brews with delays.  Action happens when obstacles are in the way.  When we overcome delays we will succeed.  Feeling blocked when displaying one’s achievements.  Innovations are thwarted due to fear from others and possibly self.  Being tested by self or other to prove we are worthy to win. Getting shut-out from authority figures because of non-social behaviour.  Being passive and moving slowly frustrates the desire to be ahead and act quickly.

Mars

(Aries, Scorpio) = Aggression, sexuality, power, action, assertiveness, strategist, me first, innovation, activity, movement, courage, fighter, war-like, extroverted, more masculine than feminine.

Square

(Saturn) = Challenged, blocked, tension, discomfort, conflict, needed adjustments, stubborn, irregular, hang-up, restrain, restrict, shut-off, obstruct, thwart, pressure, stress, struggle, testing, delay; inhibitions, disruption, limitations, and inner conflict (Wikipedia); WizardsNet adds crisis, difficult to integrate. Astrology3D says struggle of two forces at cross-purposes.  Obstacles which can bring growth through concentrated effort. Acts like Saturn

Saturn

(Capricorn, Aquarius) = Fear, restriction, discipline, karma, tests, limitations, passive, withdrawn, introverted, more feminine than masculine.

My Personal Experiences

Recently I had a public outburst on the Internet.  It happens a few times a year.  Most of my planets are in the Southern hemisphere so it’s no surprise that I do this though part of me wishes I wouldn’t do that and probably because it doesn’t look good for the image (Capricorn Rising)!  The outburst was also preceded by a Mars Square Chiron transit and during a Mars Square Saturn transit as well.

What happens?

Basically I have periods of time where I don’t feel noticed or seen for who I am, what I contribute, and people are often surprised when they find out many of the things I have accomplished though I’m hard on myself and think it’s not enough. I have bigger goals that haven’t been reached, like publishing my first book on tarot (update: Done June 2011!!)!  Perhaps they are thinking:  Why are you down here, if you have done so much up there?  And I have seriously asked myself the same question too.

I also get bouts of feeling as if others are inspired by my work but don’t want to or forget to credit me because maybe somehow I bring them down or don’t add to their credibility.  Or maybe they oddly don’t realize or attribute what they learned from me as inspirational when it obviously was, given what gets produced.

I have also given freely but at some point will recognize that not much is coming back.  I don’t give with the idea of getting back but eventually I DO see that others can just take, while I give and no, I’m not happy with that.

The Meltdown

Suzan Hayden (twitter account) was introduced to me by Carrie Steirs (twitter account) when she witnessed my hissy fit about me wanting to take my tweets elsewhere! Humph!  She didn’t want me to go and understood what I was going through and somehow she knew Suzan was just what I needed, at the time, to help me deal.  It was Suzan that noted that I probably had a Mars Square Saturn natal aspect after chatting for a bit and mentioning I had a Sun Conjunct Mars aspect too.  I said, during our epic tweeting,” I will try out many different things to try to make something work but sometimes I just need to give up if working 2 hard,” and that’s when she connected all the dots…

[Note that I used the word “try” which means I wasn’t in a good frame of mind at the time.  I generally “do” or “do not”.  I don’t really try unless I’m feeling defeated!.]

That hit me and I went and researched Mars Square Saturn to get some more information on the challenge.  And I’m pretty sure that is what was causing the problem especially since Mars was transiting my Midheaven by Trine at the time.

What triggered the meltdown?

I was upset (again) that it seemed to me I was being overlooked (which I was / am) and that I can’t seem to get anywhere no matter how hard I try / work or what I accomplish. It seems that I have to beg for support and even then, it’s not what I had in mind and probably because those that do want to support me have their own troubles.  Thankfully my outburst was during a Mars Sextile Midheaven transit so I got exactly the right help and support that I needed this time around.  Thanks Dan, Jana, Suzan, Amara, and Carrie!!  Yes, It took these many amazing people to move this mountain of despair!! Thank you universe…

This recent Mars Square Saturn meltdown ended with me finding out that someone has got where I have always dreamed of and where few have reached.  And a part of me can’t help feeling that maybe they got inspired by me in some way given my Leo Mars is in my 7th house of open enemies along with my Sun . I had worked towards this goal for some time, spending long hard hours with many sacrifices to get there but I felt hampered by lack of resources and support which caused me to feel lethargic and depressed.  Since I’m public and generally not secretive about my actions (maybe I need to start being that way.. update: I am less inclined to discuss my successes or plans now) it isn’t far-fetched.  After-all, any “bragging” I do is liable not to be taken well by some people and it can inspire non-friendly types of competition unfortunately.  I’m still figuring out how I can let people know what I have been up to without coming off like a braggart (Update: Only those who need to know, get to know).  Maybe using covert actions like working with a Public Relations Representative. 🙂 Update: I’m now focused on local pursuits and building relationships.

But there’s something else that’s even bigger and somewhat odd (here’s where Aquarius is connected to Saturn!!)…  There’s not generally a specific person or people I target with my meltdown’s.  I have an issue with a mass of something but nothing I can put my finger on.  What I do find interesting though is that certain people will feel attacked by my meltdown and think it has to do with them.  I guess they were not for me like I thought they were (Saturn Opposition Neptune)!  If nothing else, this aspect draws out the people who are not actually supporting me.

Update: That person may have been the straw that breaks my back but it’s many straws, of similar behaviour, that causes the meltdown.  So it isn’t that one person… it’s a group of people doing the same thing that will break me down.

Meltdowns

A few times a year I have my temper tantrums but one thing that always amazes me, after-the-fact, is that I come out fighting and feeling strong.  A lot of times I don’t get positive support.  Instead I get knocked down for being a cry-baby and that’s not what ANY Mars Square Saturn person needs to move past the real thing they are going through.  But no matter what, I somehow get re-inspired, dump the waste, what doesn’t work, set new goals, and visions and then get to work again BUT it takes me some time to get there (Update: The time it takes to get there is seriously cut down now.  I recognize my displeasure and then do something to solve the problem much sooner).   I kick and scream all the way before I make this change {Update: I don’t anymore).  It can take months and years for the metamorphosis to take place (Update: Not anymore).  I don’t give up easily and I will do everything I can to keep working at something to the detriment of myself and others (Update: That’s waning now).  And no, I don’t want to do that anymore (Update: So I stopped my self-defeating behaviours and honored Saturn).

Where do I go from here?

So the understandable temper tantrum and pity party are done (for now) and I’m ready to make a fresh start with my new focus.

And as with anything Saturn related, as we age, things do tend to mellow out and get easier.  I’m hoping and will endeavor not to experience another year of this… One of my 2011 goals is to turn my Squares into supercharged Trines.

Update: October 26, 2011… This aspect has been largely healed. In fact, reading this blog post feels so foreign to me.  I wonder how I could have felt this way in the first place! 🙂 I still have beefs but not about delays. I take it one day at a time now. Update: June 2011 (published first book, on tarot). Update: March 6, 2012. One of the things I did was stop fighting the establishment, Saturnian structures, hierarchy, ways of people, and the world.  And once I began working with that energy rather than against it things began to smooth out.

What Other People Say about Mars – Saturn Aspects

Random Astrology | Astrofix | Planet Waves

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