The Professional Friend: Challenge #1
|January 16, 2011||Filled under Life, Readings & Analysis, Services, Self-disclosure|
What is a Professional Friend?
A Professional Friend is someone who offers Intimate Services for a fee. A Professional Friend connects with the client in a deeply personal way. A Professional Friend can be a doctor, therapist, consultant, personal assistant, coach, GFE, etc. A Professional Friend has something to offer you that a traditional friend can or will not, even if they are qualified to do so.
We can all make use of a good professional friend in our life.
In every healthy relationship there is a give and take, buy and sell, you and me, etc. trade-off. In a professional situation, a Professional Friend gives up focus on themselves to focus their attention mostly or entirely on you, your wants, needs, and desires in return for a fee. This is no different from any other intimate relationship. The form of payment with a Professional Friend is usually money. With a traditional friend, you may help them with their problems and payment in return is that they help you with yours.
Challenge #1 – Client wants me to become their “real friend”.
I offer consulting, counseling, reading, interpreting, guiding, and teaching services.
Genuine care and wanting to help is evident to many if not all of my clients. My favourite subject is YOU! And I rarely talk about myself unless I sense self-disclosure will aid in my client’s learning and growth process. However, after awhile I find many clients wanting to know who I am on a personal basis.
A lot of my clients have expressed wanting to know me as a “real friend” to hang out and do “real friend” activities.
Lets take a look at why you, as a client, might feel that way:
- My focus is entirely on you;
- I give you my BEST self;
- I’m talking about stuff you want to talk about;
- Your friendships are lacking and frankly, how many aren’t?
If we were to be friends (in the traditional sense), this is how it would probably look like:
- I wouldn’t want to talk about either of our troubles at any great length. I’m kind of guy-like and activities focused in my private life.
- I’m also kind of a loner. I don’t go out much and like to spend time with my
husband(significant other) or alone.
- I wouldn’t be interested in giving readings, discussing metaphysics, etc. unless I knew you were involved in it to the extent that I am (i.e. professionally) or I’m learning something new and want to tell the whole world about it and practice it on everyone!! 🙂
- I would give you my best AND worst self.
- I wouldn’t be as focused on your world with such intensity.
While I may seem like the best friend you could ever have, in context I quite possibly wouldn’t be. While I genuinely care about your well-being and growth, I get paid to focus on you. If you paid me and all I did was focus on my needs, wants, and desires I think we can agree you probably wouldn’t want to pay me because it’s imbalanced. As a client, you come to me for professional help and I get paid to give you that professional help.
So unless a client and myself wants to potentially ruin a perfectly great arrangement of me giving them the royal metaphysical treatment for a price, it’s best for me to stay professional yet warm and friendly.
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