Synastry & Natal: The Romeo & Juliet Aspect – Venus Square Saturn in LOVE – Part One

The Romeo and Juliet Aspect

♀ ☐ ♄ I can’t have the love that I want.  The love I don’t want, I want.  I want to love.  I don’t want the love I can have.  I don’t want to love.  This love isn’t for me.  Eventually, I might give my love.  Love comes with hoops and hurdles. I feel unloved. An itch you can’t scratch.

 

Venus Square Saturn is an astrological aspect that can show in a natal birth chart or it can be a combined energy that occurs between the native and another or others.

This aspect gives a cold chill, when faced with love, to the native or relationship and any harmonious compatibility that may be present just adds to the chill factor. Because if there are other aspects in the chart that cause hot chemistry, the native or natives are more likely to not want to get involved and open up to what is perceived as a Pandora’s Box.  In fact, sabotage becomes almost a sure thing. A dampening after a quickening of love feelings is what often happens.  Excuses will be made, and delays will almost seem as if on purpose. This aspect pushes more than it pulls. Love doesn’t seem to be on the radar of the native or the individual(s) and more than anything it’s because of fear.  This aspect feels like winter or ice, Venus Capricorn or Aquarius, and Saturn Libra.

Natal Venus Square Saturn

  1. Not feeling that love is for you to have.
  2. Not getting physical and enjoying the pleasures of the body.
  3. Feeling too old, serious, full of responsibilities, or fear to be in-love
  4. A late bloomer in love, romance, and relationships.
  5. Not ready for the responsibility of loving another or love is taken very seriously
  6. Doesn’t enter into a relationship lightly or leave relationships easily
  7. Denying self of love.  Self-love denial.
  8. Wants to make sure one’s love is for REAL!  Not trusting love. And the tendency not to want to explore it.
  9. When someone is interested in you, you turn them away.  They can’t possibly love you!
  10. Being  unfriendly and hard on yourself or those that you want to love.
  11. Not allowing art and beauty into your life.  Restricting buying “frivolous” things that beautify, if it’s not practical.
  12. Not being “attractive”.  Not because you are not, but because there’s not a genuine focus on a vibrant approach.
  13. Stalking or watching persons of interest from afar but not letting them know you are doing it or are interested.
  14. Loving from afar…. bittersweet and silent romance.
  15. Not wanting to limit yourself to just one romance or love relationship, especially in case it’s not the right one or won’t be the one to bring a sense of complete love for the long haul.

Synastry Venus Square Saturn

  1. Something keeps you away from being with each other or allowing love to develop.
  2. Marriage, divorce, separation, children, relationship, busy career, unaccepted different culture or ethnic group, unaccepted different religion or sexual preference, greatly differing values, going to different schools or living a great distance (different countries) from each other are some reasons why the relationship will not thrive.
  3. Untouchable…. she or he is so high “above” or “below” me.
  4. Wanting the one who plays in the relationship, to work.
  5. Wanting the one who works in the relationship, to play.
  6. Feeling like a parent or a child.
  7. Having your love bubble burst or alternatively, feeling a love burden.
  8. Thinking one of you is not seeing the reality of the relationship.
  9. Thinking one of you is not open to love in the relationship.
  10. Getting the feeling that you could almost be together in-love but something always stops one or both of you.
  11. Longevity of love:  Over a long period of time, somehow running back into each other but not taking it all the way to something of substance.
  12. Continuing to maintain the look and feel of a connection when no serious attempt will be made to make it physical.
  13. Having a long distance relationship.  Being always away from each other.
  14. Having a sizable age difference i.e. 7-14 years — if not by chronology than by maturity or experience.
  15. Testing each others patience in love.
  16. One or both of you not wanting to limit the love given to others therefore creating a possible ‘adulterous’ affair.

Mini Brainstorm

Fear of love.  Restricting love causes obstacles in having a relationship get off the ground. Being hard in love.  Hard on your love. Disciplined love creates conflicts.  Detaching affection when stressed.  Inhibited from loving another co-cooperatively.  Testing lovers, delays a relationship.  Adjustments in serious love are important to make.  Fear of a relationship creates a block. Frustration over a love that can’t be had due to formal obligations or financial restrictions.

Venus

(Taurus, Libra) Love, affection, art, balance, sensuality, beauty, softness, receptivity, femininity, passivity, happiness, feminine, peace, contentment, nature, earthly pleasures, money, possessions, idealizing, brown & pink, tradition, co-operation, indulgence, service, devoted, the muse, kindness, compassion

Square

(Saturn) = Challenged, blocked, tension, discomfort, conflict, needed adjustments, stubborn, irregular, hang-up, restrain, restrict, shut-off, obstruct, thwart, pressure, stress, struggle, testing, delay; inhibitions, disruption, limitations, and inner conflict (Wikipedia); WizardsNet adds crisis, difficult to integrate. Astrology3D says struggle of two forces at cross-purposes. Obstacles which can bring growth through concentrated effort. Acts like Saturn

Saturn

(Capricorn, Aquarius) = Fear, restriction, discipline, karma, tests, limitations, passive, withdrawn, introverted, more feminine than masculine.

–> Go to Part Two

Venus Square Saturn- The Solution but remember to share this post and reply before you do! :-) Thanks…


Abella, nicknamed Psychic Jucy, is available for consultations with a special focus on:  love, relationships, career, work, finances, money, self-development, and manifestation of dreams and goals.  Wait time:  1-2 weeks; make your request now.

What Other People Say about Venus-Saturn Aspects

Sky View Zone | Astrofix | Tribe | AstrologyWeekly | Astrology & Love | Ask Julie | Moon Pluto Astrology

Florence + The Machine – Dog Days Are Over

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
…She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the head
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
Because here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Thomas Dybdahl – Love Story

honey i told you
that these things never last
and one of these days now
you`ll start dreaming of the past

when life was once too short for all the things we`d do and the shots we`d call
and endless summer without a fall
when promises were meant to keep
and nighttime wasn`t meant for sleep
a love story at it`s peak

doesn`t it feel good
to know that you`ve been loved
and doesn`t it make you
laugh when you think of

the day when we all got lost on the old mans farm
just trying to get across
it was only then i knew what love was
sunday mornings that never ended and hangovers that never mended
a love story at it`s peak

Thomas Dybdahl – It’s Always Been You

sometimes it`s hard to see the change from where you stand
you wake up in a pool of your own selfpity
you try hard to lose whatever dignity she`s left you with
but maybe it`s time to realise that you`re stained but not weak,
calm but not sleak, she`s out of your league
it`s always been you

speak out your name and try to hold a thought for one damn minute
you told me yourself you`d all appreciate a man of thought
cause this is hightrade out, but you would ever have me do for something new
cause in your own stream of thought betray is all you can, desperate man…
it`s always been you

Melody Gardot: Your Heart Is As Black As Night

post originally conceived Nov 6, 2010 @ 16:55


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More Abella "Jucy" Arthur

Abella "Jucy" Arthur has contributed 114 posts in this blog.

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    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000922953913 Levi Fuentes

      Hey Abella,

      I love this article. You hit the nail on the head when talking about this subject. If you recall, I have this aspect in my chart – Venus 5° 04′ Scorpio squares Saturn 3° 38′ Aquarius. I’m very familiar with the affects of this aspect. Scorpio is famous for being charismatic, sexual, alluring, mysterious, dark and alluring and Aquarius is known for being quirky, electrifying, unconventional, quirky, surprising and unpredictable. However, when they fight, I feel estranged, alienated and shunned. I’m very familiar with feeling unworthy of love, not feeling attractive, question someone’s love for me and being extremely harsh and cruel to myself.

      Aspect-wise, Venus conflicts with a LOT of planets in my chart but she is the focal point of my T – square in my chart: she squares my Chiron (9° 18′ Leo RETROGRADE!) and my Moon (7° 07′ Aquarius), Juno (7° 26′ Aquarius) and Saturn (3° 38′ Aquarius). She also has conflicts with the other celestial bodies: Venus semi – squares the Sun (18° 05′ Sagittarius), Ceres (18° 46′ Sagittarius) and Vesta (18° 53′ Virgo); Venus also squares Eros (0° 16′ Aquarius). The only celestial body Venus gets along with is Neptune (15° 26′ Capricorn), in which she forms a quintile.

      When dealing with essential and accidental dignities, Venus has more luck; though she’s -2 points with the essential dignities, she 14 points with the accidental dignities.

      Fortunately for Venus, she doesn’t aspect too tightly with the planets she has problems with to the point where it’s prominent in my character but her struggle and strife is nonetheless there and noticeable.

      It’s hard having a natal chart where Venus has a lot of problems – Moon – Venus square makes me more unworthy of love and affection; Venus – Chiron square makes it hard for me to truly feel the healing part of love, the true catharsis love brings; Venus – Juno square makes it hard for me to feel truly equal and understood by others around me, furthering the feeling of alienation and isolation; finally, Venus – Eros square makes me feel like I’m crippled and inhibited when expressing my deeper feelings of love and affection.

      Sorry for rambling. :(

      • Sadge Gal

        Abella, this is a wonderful article:) I enjoyed reading it and you write beautifully. Although I don’t have this aspect natally or synastry wise, it’s always nice to read how others view and interpret astrological aspects. Keep sharing with you and great article again:)

        • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

          Thank you Sadge Gal!! I had not thought I wrote beautifully; however, I really appreciate the vote of confidence… *grin* How do you read and interpret Venus Square Saturn? Cheers!!

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        Levi,

        I’m a rambler too so I understand.  Unfortunately that can mean the other can’t get a word in edgewise.

        On this blog, that means I might not get back to long and complex replies (if ever).  I’m interested in what everyone has to say and I’m OBSESSED with astrology, love people, and enjoy knowing and sharing. 

        The challenge essentially comes down to time, paid consultations that I’m working on, and what’s on my mind at the time.  And in my mind — a thoughtful or complex reply, deserves a thoughtful response.  I imagine that might be why I get long replies back.  I have really thought out my blog articles and they can be complex so I’m getting the same in return.

        Unfortunately, my mind is also spread thin across many obsessions and communication tasks (5th and 6th house cusp has Gemini on them) so it can take a long time, if ever, to get back unless the visitor is willing and able to pay for a consultation.  Hopefully one day, a community will be developed on Astrogasm and visitors will feel inclined to respond to other visitors while keeping me involved.

        One thing a lot of astrology bloggers find is that visitors want feedback on their personal details; however, most of these bloggers provide paid consultations. If that’s the case, what that usually means is that the writer would prefer doing a paid consultation over a free public one.  At the same time, they may enjoy brief replies to their blog posts that are personal but not in-depth.  Then it’s up to the blogger if they want to go down that rabbit hole with a public read.

        So if a visitor wants a public read, it’s best to open with something short and see if the blogger bites.  If they don’t, it might mean they prefer the blogger request a paid consultation and that would be a for a number of reasons.

        I encourage visitors to write as little or as MUCH as they want but not to expect a reply either way — especially when the reply is long and involved. Even if I’m unable to read it or respond to it right away (or ever), others will and eventually they’ll start commenting on it too.

        Back to the article (look at me ramble!!)…
        Thank you for reading the article and I’m glad you enjoyed it and it resonated well for you.
        Thanks for also adding additional astrological insight from a personal perspective.

        Here’s some thoughts…

        All fixed signs (such as Scorpio) are fixed, determined, and stubborn.  If you want to look for the challenge in your aspects and heal from them — face the harsh truth of the traits.

        You say:
        Scorpio is famous for being charismatic, sexual, alluring, mysterious
        and dark and Aquarius is known for being quirky, electrifying,
        unconventional, quirky, surprising and unpredictable.

        I say:

        When looking at the square or any challenging aspect look at the EXTREME negative traits (even if all of them or none of them belong to you)…

        Scorpio is famous for being jealous, ruthless, vindictive, brooding, possessive, retaliatory, secretive, psychotic, crazy, intense emotions, etc.

        Aquarius is famous for being detached, cold, unavailable, a loner, unemotional, sociopathic, argumentative, iconoclast (in the negative).

        Venus Square Saturn (Scorpio / Aquarius)
        With this combination we can see the back-and-forth of this combination.  It almost looks like an opposition. In the extreme, Scorpio here is over-emotional and Aquarius is devoid of emotion.  To add to this, Aquarius is co-ruled by Saturn (its traditional ruler) and Scorpio is ruled by Pluto (another heavyweight) and is in detriment.

        So we have here Saturn saying: Don’t get involved, love hurts, love curbs freedom and is messy while Venus says: Even if love hurts, all you need is love and without love. there is no living.  And when someone comes along, who shows potential, Saturn is wary and tests the heck out of Venus (in synastry, especially).

        So the question is:  How do you get out of that?
        My response is in part two:  The Solution to Venus Square Saturn.  What do you think is the solution?

        Venus Square Moon
        “Moon – Venus square makes me more unworthy of love and affection”
        How so?

        Venus Square Chiron
        To me, this means you can:  get wounded and wound in matters of love, beauty, money, and artistic ventures but ultimately those wounds ARE healing.  The healing just doesn’t come smoothly.

        And you can also be a great teacher and counselor for others who are going through heartache.  My solution for that is to remember to give yourself your own advice.

        Wow, that was a mother of a reply on my end.

    • http://twitoaster.com/country-ca/jucythought/ JucyThought

      [New Post] Synastry & Natal: The Romeo & Juliet Aspect – Venus Square Saturn in LOVE – Problem & Solution – http://blog.virgovault.com/?p=199

    • Ladye

      THis is the most spot-on description of this aspect. I met someone 2 years ago whose chart combined with mine makes this aspect. We are periodically and paradoxically drawn together like magnets and then repelled by what seems to be overwhelming fear. I can’t quite forget him and I feel in my gut it’s the same on his end. THe whole thing is very painful and frustrating as I watch myself do things to sabotage and not even know, until later, that I’ve done it AGAIN. My heart aaches as I go through yet another post-sabotage period. I feel so restricted (saturn) in this it’s almost unbearable. I have tried over and over to forget but my heart will not let go. I do want to thank you for writing this article because at least it makes me feel less crazy – like there is a reason for it all.

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        Hi Ladye,
        Sorry it took so long to get back (8 months!!?!)…

        Thank you for leaving your appreciation about what I wrote.

        Saturn does resonate fear.  But why? Saturn likes to know what’s going on.  Saturn wants a sure-thing.  But Saturn also wants us to face our fears.  As they say, FEAR stands for False Expectations Appearing Real.

        Saturn tests us and wants us to get real.  The problem is, when we experience fear in the context of no real threat — I think we are experiencing doubt.  And doubt gets in the way of clarity.

        How are you doing now?! It’s been awhile…

        Aja

    • Quinn

      I had to tell you this;  I’ve got the Venus sq Saturn natally. I had a text off my ex last week, it said ” This song (dog days are over) reminds me so much of the break up with you and I just wanted to say thanks for being you”. He’s not into astrology but my mind came straight to this article and your song choices…nice one <3 I quite literally LOL'd 

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        Quinn, I find you to be such a beautiful person but I do get the energy of ‘hardness’ — more out of the fact that life can deal some heavy blows and you have survived them. <3

        Thanks for letting me know and ha ha.  But sorry to hear you had that 'text off'.  *ugh*
        Much love Lady. xx

        • Quinn

          Yes I can be hard or I am hard….whichever way you want to look at it. That poor Venus of mine is also conjunct Pluto and they both quincunx onto Mars but luckily she is trined by Jupiter and sextiles Neptune. They take the edges off a little. And that text was sent from a Moon conjunct Saturn but I think it came from his Sun, Venus, Neptune conjunction in Sag whilst he was sat at the bottom of his beer can  hehe ;) Love to you too Abella <3

    • FallInNY

      My jaw dropped as I was reading your description of the Venus-Square- Saturn aspect in synastry. This is the situation I have with “my man” – from the fear factor to the getting back together after a long time (like…27 years?) still unable to make it ‘something of substance” (the fact that he got married and has 3 kids does not help…), to the distance between us…(NYC-Milan….), to everything else but the age difference (although I suspect I , the Venus one, have lived much more in terms of experience). I am shocked. Andsince we do have many other aspects that would work in theory (Venus conjuncts, trine Moon/Sun, trine Mars, ), the frustration is even bigger. Let’s see now what the solution is….

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        hehe on the jaw dropping FallinNY. :-)
        Nice expression.

        Venus Sq. Saturn isn’t a fun one, eh?! And it would make it all the more tough when you have some sweet aspects going for you. It’s a very frustrating one.  Even if the square is turned into a ‘trine’, it’s more about just being okay with the situation (love delays) rather than overcoming it in an ideal way. *sigh*

        What did you think about my solution? :D

        It’s okay if you don’t agree or don’t think it will help.
        I appreciate difference of opinions, with respect, and all that jazz.

    • kit

      yeah, it is true. my ex and I had a 12 year age gap, with different cultural and religion background.  He was a nice Korean guy and we could only stay together for half a year until long-distance kept us away. Bittersweet memories lol.

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        Thanks for sharing your experience kit.
        It’s definitely a bittersweet aspect that many of us come across in synastry, if not natally. :(

        • The Outsider

          This article has accurately described my life. I have this aspect and to be honest living with this is very painful. I am a male, almost 34 yrs old now. Never had a relationship, still a virgin (I know embarrassing) by too proud to pay for sex!! Never been on a date in my life. All the 15 characteristics apply to me.
          I just found out about this aspect two months ago. In fact after a lot of soul searching and looking into and studying religions to understand my unhappiness, I turned to astrology and just within a week of looking into all this, I realised what is causing the suffering in my life.
          My social life is non existent. I live alone, far from my family, on a cold little island near UK. I do not have any friends; I lived with my family in India till I was 29. With religious restrictions and pressure to study well and keep out of trouble, all my friendships failed. Being a middle child I always felt ignored and taken for granted by my parents. I know they care for me. But in all of 29 yrs they never realised why their son is alone and is so unhappy. I never complained or tried to seek attention. Just dreamt that some day things will be alright. Nothing changed till I was 29. Family was not happy because I refused to follow the Indian tradition and get into an arranged marriage, which is not me; I could not just meet someone twice and say yes.
          At least I built a good career and left for another country (Cayman Islands) at 29. For once I tried to change myself, I tried to let go of my hang-ups. Made so many friends from around the world. I turned into a rebel and tried to live life to the fullest, but it was clear to me that I was on a self destructive path. I lost my job, my friends who loved me, a girl who I secretly admired, my first car and I had to leave that Island. Finding happiness after so many years and then losing everything is a short span (within a year) was too devastating for me. I guess it was the Saturn return when I turned 30 that destroyed everything. (I did not even know about Saturn return, etc then). Now putting the pieces of the puzzle has helped me understand that there were things happening that were beyond my control.
          I have been working on another Island now. My relationship with my family has deteriorated. I have no friends (from Friday 5 PM to Monday 9 AM) there is no one who talks to me (this has been going on for the last 3.5yrs). I realise that I was scared to again let anyone close to me. But now that I want change things I still feel it is so difficult.
          The solutions you have laid down are very logical and to be honest has raised my hopes that I can be happy too. I need to challenge this aspect. But I am scared about another heart break that will destroy me completely. I have a Saturn square Uranus as well in my natal chart, so I am too scared to make drastic changes.
          I have started making small changes to my life. Starting with appearance (not trying to downplay my appearance any more). Working on my personality and voice now. I need to love myself first. I am going to take one full year and start making small changes and see if things work out or if this Saturn square Venus is a curse that I will have to live with all my life and endure.
          All I want to know is, does anyone know of someone who has this aspect in their natal chart and have changed the course of this hard aspect after applying your solutions. That is, has someone succeeded in overcoming this aspect by applying this solution?
          I am hoping that now that I am almost 34 and realising what is at play, I feel it is the right moment to make changes now. Perhaps it is true that Saturn will cause delays, but i may be coming to the end of that period.
          I can’t thank you enough Abella!!
          Looking forward to hear from someone who has some experience about dealing with this aspect.
           
          Regards,
          V
                

    • Peachy

      For the past 2 years I have been the Venus in a “Saturn square Venus” attraction. He is 9 years older, lives an 8 hour drive away, has a noticably different status and social background than me… and we can never seem to meet, either because of work, time, money or fear. We have also put each other through some strenuous testing despite the fact that neither of us has asked for any kind of commitment.  When we first met I was in a relationship and although the attraction was powerful I refused to cheat, and rejected him pretty hard. Then a very strange and almost magical turn of events caused me to abruptly rethink my choice, break up with my boyfriend, and get back in touch with him.

      Despite everything there seems to be an unbreakable bond. Not only that but there is a powerful psychic bond. It’s so strong that the few times I have thought to myself:
      “I can’t do this anymore. I need a sign from him or I have to break away”
      He has ended up messaging or calling me a few hours later, even after we hadn’t spoken in a few months.

      A little extra astrological info:
      my Sagittarius Venus is conjunct his Mars, Mercury and Neptune, square his Saturn, and opposite his Moon.
      his Scorpio Venus is exactly conjunct my Pluto and Sun, trine my Moon and sextile my Neptune.
      He also has Uranus conjunct his Venus and I have Uranus in the 1st house and all over my natal planets so the sexual dimension of it is a little out of this world…

      It’s a mixture of magical, unusual, powerful and difficult. I don’t know how I could ever be “with him” because that would mean one of us has to change their life completely. But I don’t know if I could ever break the bond either. I get the feeling that if we did the Universe would only cross our paths again and totally disrupt things all over again.

      I really don’t know what to do :s How do I satisfy Mr. Saturn so that this bond has a chance to flourish? I know that 2 years is nothing to the planet of time so I’m wondering how else I can pay my dues.

      • http://www.blog.virgovault.com Abella Jucy Arthur

        Thank you so much Peachy for adding your personal experience.  It’s stories like this that make the astrology come to life.

        In regards to your “psychic connection” do you have Moon-Moon, or Moon-Mercury contacts? Also, what are your North and South nodes doing?

        What is your Venus-Saturn doing in each of your natal charts? It seems you would have the loyalty aspect of Venus Trine or Sextile Saturn because you felt it wasn’t right to cheat and broke up with your boyfriend before contacting the other guy you were interested in.

        The Venus-Mars-Neptune is a HUGE pull.
        What do you think you’re supposed to learn from him since the Venus-Saturn square is not allowing you to actually ‘get together’?

        “I get the feeling that if we did the Universe would only cross our paths again and totally disrupt things all over again.”

        I believe you’re right.  If not with him, with someone else.  You HAVE to learn the lesson.  What is it? :-)

        I’m not sure how much I can help in a serious and deep way without looking at ALL of your charts in detail and since I’m a professional astrologer, I would ask you to go through my website and book two to three sessions so I could look at your natals, synastry, and composite –> http://www.knowtheway.ca/readings/making-payment.html

        Otherwise, I’ll see what I can do here. :-)

        Warm regards,
        Abella